Origins
by Shootingstar7123
Summary: Origins is a series of stories about putting a twist on the canon origins (Spacer, Colonist, Earthborn) while still staying true to what the games tell us about them. Each chapter is a separate "origin", consisting of small scenes that show how that origin could shape Shepard's path throughout the three Mass Effect games. These generally feature Shepard/Garrus.
1. The One Where Shepard Was Born Rich

Origins:

The One Where Shepard Was Born Rich

…

Spacer Shepard's family wasn't just an old Alliance family—they were old money too. While she spent most of her formative years at military academies, her summers and vacations were spent on Earth, at one of her family's vast estates.

…

It was all too easy to have a crush on Commander Shepard.

She was everything a soldier should be… and also everything a woman should be.

Kaidan Alenko had _never_ seen a soldier walk the way she did out of armor. Gliding across the floor, hips swaying… it was mesmerizing. It didn't help that she could charm the hump off a krogan if she wanted to. She was clever, diplomatic, and damn near perfect as far as Kaidan was concerned.

This… minor obsession… with Shepard was probably the reason Joker shared his discovery with Kaidan. Joker always did enjoy seeing him make a fool of himself.

"Get a load of this," the pilot said, typing something on his console. A picture popped up of a young, elegant woman in a formal gown. Her red hair was piled onto her head in a way that looked both complicated and effortless. Her face was made up flawlessly, pouting ruby lips and long-lashed eyes set in a peaches-and-cream complexion. She wore diamonds round her neck and satin gloves up to her elbows. She stood comfortably, as if she dressed like this every day of her life.

Kaidan tilted his head. Something about this woman looked familiar. He stared at the eyes, at the lips curved into a hint of a smile… He gaped. "Is that Shepard?"

Joker gave him a shit-eating grin. "From her _debutante_ ball."

Both men stared at the picture, Joker laughing, Kaidan enraptured. All he could utter was, "Holy shit."

And he couldn't stop thinking about it.

When he'd asked Shepard where she grew up, she waved off his question. "Oh, all over," she'd said airily. "Military brat, you know."

It seemed like that wasn't anywhere near the full story.

…

…

After saving the Citadel (and the galaxy, Shepard liked to remind herself), the Normandy crew deserved a bit of shore leave. And she knew just the place.

She walked down the Normandy's loading ramp, a duffel slung over her shoulder, and admired the scenery. Fiji was as beautiful as ever.

"How the hell did you find this place?" Ashley asked in awe, stopping next to her. "It must cost a fortune to stay here."

Shepard blushed a little, glancing away. "My, uh… my family owns it."

"Daaamn!" Ash replied. "You guys must be loaded."

"We're comfortable," Shepard said, sounding anything but.

"Sure you are, Shepard."

Shepard ignored Ashley's needling and called to the gathering crew. "Alright everyone! The staff should have rooms ready for each of you. The beach is ours, and there's also tennis and volleyball courts. For those who hate the outdoors, the staff can show you to the gameroom. Let's head inside."

She strode towards the house, motioning the others to follow. She slowed down as they went inside, waving at the staff that greeted her, calling her "Miss Jane".

Shepard made sure all her crew found their way to their rooms before heading to her own. She relaxed her shoulders as she entered the sanctuary of her childhood. Fiji was always her favorite house.

After letting herself bask for just a moment, she changed into her bikini and sarong, and covered herself carefully in high-end moisturizing sunscreen. Just because she'd saved the galaxy didn't mean she could go lax on skincare. After pulling her hair into a casual ponytail, she headed downstairs just in time to catch Garrus outside the doors.

His mandibles fluttered at the sight of her, and she tried to hold in a smirk. She knew she had a bangin' body, but making a turian blush was a new experience.

"Not swimming, Garrus?" she asked, taking in his loose shirt and long pants.

He crossed his arms, regaining his equilibrium. "I told you before, Shepard, turians don't swim. It mostly involves a lot of flailing and drowning. I don't even own swimwear."

"I'm sure we can find you something to wear in the house," she said. "Come on, Garrus, I really want to teach you how to swim." She gazed up at him with her most pleading gaze.

After a moment he sighed. "Fine, fine… survive flying a mako onto the Citadel, get killed on shore leave."

She grinned at him. "You know I would never let you drown, Garrus," she said, steering him back inside.

"You say that now," he said dryly, "but you haven't seen how fast a turian can sink."

…

…

Miranda looked up suddenly from her desk. She thought she heard a shriek from somewhere. But that couldn't be. They were safe on the new Normandy.

A few minutes later, the door to her quarters opened and an angry Commander Shepard stormed in.

"What did you do to my skin?!" the woman growled. Cybernetics glowed through the scars that littered her body and face, looking fiercer in her anger.

Miranda shot up from her chair, startled by the rage she could feel pouring off the commander. "You were woken up before you were ready," she said hurriedly. "The scars should heal in time—"

"TIME?" Shepard yelled. She marched up to Miranda, standing inches away. "You're going to _fix_ my _face_, Miranda Lawson."

"Yes, of course," Miranda said, shaken. "Let's go see Doctor Chakwas now. She can tell you about the protein-synthetic overlay we can create…" She practically raced out the door, Shepard on her heels, and made a beeline for the doctor.

She only let herself relax once Shepard was fully engrossed with the doctor, discussing her options. Somehow, she just hadn't expected Commander Shepard to be _vain_.

…

"A heist?" Shepard stared at the thief she'd just recruited. "And I get to wear a dress?"

Kasumi tilted her head and smiled.

The next thing Shepard knew, they were back out on the Citadel, shopping for the perfect outfit.

"I have a dozen dresses that would be perfect for this," Shepard complained. "Too bad they're all back on Earth."

Kasumi flounced up with another dress for Shepard to try on. "You can never have too many," she countered. "You know, I didn't expect a soldier to be so eager to play dress-up."

Shepard shot her a look. "I'm sure you hacked into every file and article about me before you signed the contract with Cerberus. You must have known."

Kasumi smiled enigmatically and said nothing, just pushed another dress into Shepard's hands.

…

…

"Damn it, mother!"

Garrus looked up from the bed to see Shepard frowning at her terminal. "What's wrong?"

"She's trying to set me up on yet another date with some general's son," she said with an irritated wave of her hand. She shut off her terminal and walked down to sit by Garrus on the bed. "You know I'm not interested in that, right?" she said, meeting his eyes. "I have everything I need right here."

"But you can't tell her that, I'm guessing," he said, tilting his head.

Shepard huffed, flopping down on the bed. "I remember you said your dad would hate me." Her red hair fanned out around her head.

Garrus put his hand over hers, propping up on his side to look at her. "He thinks you're a bad influence. But why would your mom hate me? I'm not a lawless spectre," he teased.

She smiled a little, rolling her eyes. "Hardly anyone's good enough for her. They have to come from an old money family, have history in the military. No enlisted men, though, the hypocrite. Only officers."

"Hypocrite?" he asked.

She turned her hand over, gripping his. "My dad was an enlisted man. Mom eloped with him, made the family furious. Dad obliged them by dying in the war when I was just a baby."

"Oh," Garrus said, blindsided. "I'm sorry about your dad."

"I don't remember him," she admitted. "But I know he was a good man. He loved my mom. I just wish she was willing to remember what that was like and let me choose."

"But you're going to choose anyway," Garrus said, knowing her answer.

Her smile ripened into a wide one. "I've already chosen. She just doesn't know it yet." And she pulled Garrus down into a kiss.

…

…

It was _known_ that Shepard couldn't dance. They'd all seen her doing that awkward little sidestep in clubs across the galaxy.

So Garrus got the surprise of his life when it turned out she already knew how to tango.

"What—"

"I had ballroom dancing lessons as a girl," she answered.

"But you don't know how to dance," he said, now uncertain.

"I don't know how to _club_ dance," she replied, and spun away.

Garrus almost missed his cue in his shock. He saw his surprise reflected in James Vega's face, who had helped him plan this little date. His dance lessons in the cargo hold had been a secret for months. And now Shepard was turning the surprise right back on him. He huffed a laugh. This was so like her.

…

…

Shepard gazed around at the destruction that used to be the center of London and sighed.

"I guess the Brook Street townhouse is probably gone," she said, and popped a new heat sink into her rifle. "Shame."

…

…

The war was over. Against all odds, Shepard had survived and Garrus had found his way back to her. The first thing he did when he got her out of the hospital was present her with a ring and a question. Her answer, of course, was yes. But there was just one more hurdle to achieving their dream.

Hannah Shepard and Castis Vakarian sat across the table, holding each other's gaze as their children sat by nervously. Hannah Shepard had the same flawless face as her daughter, with a few more age lines and framed by light brown hair. Castis Vakarian had the same blue eyes as his son, but his plates were paler, showing that Garrus had gotten his coloring from his mother.

As the silence between the two held steady, Jane, in a wheelchair, smoothed out her pants almost compulsively while Garrus squeezed the arms of his chair until he could hear the metal straining. They'd tried to prepare their parents for this meeting and prayed it would go smoothly, but it looked like Hannah and Castis had different ideas.

"Why should I let my Jane marry your son?" Hannah finally said, voice calm and collected. She took a casual sip of her lemonade, barely taking her eyes off of Castis.

"My son is a war hero," Castis growled. "Advisor and friend to the primarch of Palaven. The only turian to ever receive your Star of Terra award."

"My daughter," Hannah replied, "Is the most decorated hero in the galaxy. I can find half a dozen Star of Terra recipients to marry her."

"Mother!" Jane hissed.

Hannah cut her daughter a sharp, quelling look, and Jane huffed and sat back in her chair. Garrus covered her hand with his and squeezed. No matter what strange in-fighting this wedding caused between their parents, there was nothing they could to do stop it from happening.

"None of those soldiers have also received the highest awards granted by Palaven, Sur'Kesh, and Thessia. Not to mention being named a 'friend of Tuchanka,'" Castis retorted. 

Hannah tucked a perfectly-highlighted lock of hair behind her ear as she leaned forward. "Perhaps Garrus is acceptable on his own, but who are his people?" she demanded. "Jane comes from a long history of decorated officers in the Alliance and national militaries prior to the Alliance's inception. Her ancestors were nobility!"

At this, Jane put her face in her hands and wondered if it was possible to die of embarrassment even after surviving the reapers.

Castis leaned forward to match Hannah's pose. "Vakarian is an old and respected name on Palaven. We are not without our own wealth or family history. Do you see the color of our clan markings?" he asked. "Only the greatest war heroes earn their clan the right to wear the color of our blood. Had his ancestor not already earned the right, Garrus would have done so in this war. He is worthy of any woman," Castis finished proudly.

Garrus, too, started to wonder if dying of embarrassment was a possibility. Spirits, was it getting hot in here?

Hannah gave Castis a considering look. "I'm giving Jane the house in Fiji."

Jane's head shot up.

"I'll give Garrus the house at Trexus. It's near the south pole of Palaven and has lower radiation."

Garrus stared at his father in shock.

Hannah and Castis ignored them both, holding each other's gaze.

"Agreed." Hannah stuck out her hand and Castis shook it.

"Would you like to discuss the details elsewhere? I'm sure the children have no interest in them," Castis said, taking a quick glance at Jane and Garrus still staring at their parents in disbelief.

"I'd be happy to," Hannah agreed, standing and taking his arm as the two of them walked away.

When Jane finally found her voice, she turned to Garrus. "What the _hell _was that?" she asked, bewildered.

Garrus rubbed the back of his neck. "I have no idea… but I think he _liked_ her," he said, voice full of wonder. "I didn't think he liked any human."

Shepard sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "Garrus?"

"Yes love?"

"What do you think about eloping?"

…

A/N: Thanks for reading this first part of Origins! Upcoming, I'm working on one where Shepard was raised on a hippie commune on Mindoir. Please, if you have your own ideas you'd like to see, I'd love to hear them!


	2. The One Where Shep Grew Up In A Commune

Origins:

The One Where Shepard Grew Up In A Commune

…

Colonist Shepard's parents were hippies who traveled to Mindoir to start a commune, seeking to connect with nature and live off the land.

…

One thing that people learned early on about Shepard was to never ask for her first name, since she would never give it. This, of course, led to the most ridiculous rumors.

"_I heard her name is Gertrude."_

"_Well I heard she doesn't even HAVE a first name!"_

"_A Lieutenant back on Arcturus told me her name is actually Shepard Shepard. Same first and last."_

"_Don't be an idiot, dude. It's probably just something embarrassing."_

Shepard studiously ignored these rumors, no matter how ridiculous they became, and she was well aware that the Normandy was no stranger to such speculation.

Shepard had instituted a policy of group dinners for those who could make it, saying things about togetherness and group cohesion. She always requested her ground team's presence when they were off-mission, and crewmen who were off duty seemed to enjoy joining in. This night there was a large group filling the mess, but no Shepard in sight.

The comm officer had passed on that an emergency transmission had forced Shepard to miss dinner. Of course, this only allowed the crew to discuss their favorite topic of scuttlebutt—their commander, and her lack of first name.

But this time, it was different.

"Uh… I know what her first name is," Garrus said uncertainly. "It was in my file about the attack on Eden Prime." The entire table turned to him eagerly, and it took all his presence of mind not to shrink back from over a dozen expectant human gazes.

Ashley, seated across from him, laughed. "Shit, Vakarian! You've been holding out on us!"

His mandibles fluttered in discomfort. "I didn't realize it mattered. Is it something I'm supposed to keep secret?"

"No way," Joker said from a few seats down. "Shepard won't mind. It's no big deal. You know our first names, right?" he said, motioning to himself, Kaidan, and Ashley.

"Okay," Garrus replied, seeming a little uncertain. "It's Sunshine."

"_Sunshine_?" Ashley repeated, eyes wide, as laughter erupted from the table.

"What?" Garrus asked. "Is that a weird name or something?"

"It's, uh… a little unusual," Kaidan spoke up from next to him. "Not something you hear every day."

"It's a hippie name. You know, flower children?" Joker said, but Garrus only looked more confused.

"An old Earth subculture," Ashley said, wiping mirthful tears from her eyes. "Shit, I didn't think there were still hippies around in this day and age."

"It takes all types," said Kaidan, who didn't seem to be laughing as hard as the rest. Well, everyone knew he had a crush on Shepard, maybe he didn't like seeing her made fun of.

"As far as I'm concerned, all of your names are weird," said Wrex, towering over the crewmen on either side of him.

"Thanks, Wrex," Garrus said with a sigh. "Your input is helpful as always."

But his attention was soon drawn to Joker, who had a maniacal grin. Garrus felt his stomach drop. Joker was definitely up to something.

…

…

"I'm still having a hard time," Ash confessed. "You know. Working with aliens?"

Shepard hoisted herself up to sit on the edge of the weapons bench. "You know this is my first time working with aliens too?"

Ashley looked at her in disbelief. "No way," she said. "You're so comfortable with them."

Shepard smiled. "It's the truth. You just have to look past the package. Inside we're all pretty much the same."

Ash raised a brow, the corner of her lip curling up. "Sounds like hippie crap, ma'am."

Shepard laughed. "Hippie crap or not, it's worked for me so far. Lessons learned in the commune have taken me a long way through life, believe it or not."

Ashley had to concede to that. "I guess they have." Shepard's Alliance career had been an extremely successful one. "How did someone like you end up in the military anyways? Doesn't seem to jive with your past."

Shepard shrugged self-consciously. "It's not like there was money left when everyone was killed. We lived off the land. And not a lot of career options for someone tossed out of foster care at eighteen," she said carelessly. "I do own some land back on Mindoir, but…" Her eyes took on a faraway look. "I've never quite been able to go back."

"I'm sorry," Ash said, uncomfortable. "I didn't mean to make you relive any bad memories."

Shepard pushed herself off the weapons bench. "It's fine, Chief. If we didn't let ourselves feel we wouldn't be human."

Ash snorted. "More hippie crap, Commander?"

Shepard rolled her eyes, a grin threatening at the corners of her mouth as she walked away to check in with Wrex.

…

…

Shepard woke to Joker's voice over the comm.

"Sunshine. Suuuunshine!" He laughed. "Rise and shine, _Sunshine._"

She rolled out of bed, hair a matted tangle, and growled. "You're dead, Moreau."

…

…

Saving the Citadel was reason enough for a party.

Shepard used her leftover funds from the mission to reserve the bar for her crew. Every person who'd worked on the Normandy was present.

She sat deep in the corner of a booth, surrounded by her crew and friends. When a waitress came around for a drink order, Shepard declined.

"Commander, you're not drinking anything?" Her crew looked dismayed at the thought.

"I'm not a big drinker," she said. "I prefer a more herbal refreshment." She wiggled her brows, pulling a little glass pipe and silver tin from her pocket.

"Hell yes!" Joker hooted. "Shepard knows how to party! Light us up!"

She grinned in response, preparing the bowl.

"Is that legal here?" Kaidan asked from across the booth, looking uncomfortable.

"It's legal in all of Council space," Shepard replied. "Why do you think I chose a smoking bar?"

"I did think that was a bit unusual," he confessed.

"You having any?" she asked, and he shook his head.

"Suit yourself," she said, and turned to the turian on her right. "Want to try?" she asked Garrus.

He shrugged. "I would, but turians can't smoke."

"There are ways around that," she said, and grinned.

And that was how Shepard spent the evening shotgunning smoke to her turian friend, to the shock and amazement of her crew.

…

…

"Where's Shepard?" Garrus asked, looking around the trial chamber at the quarians milling about.

Tali shrugged. "I don't know. She said she was going to chat with some people before we left." Tali shifted from foot to foot, eager to leave the flotilla after the stress of her trial and the death of her father.

"Come on," Garrus said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Let's find her."

Shepard loved talking to strangers and had probably gotten distracted. It was one of her most endearing traits, even if it meant they ended up waiting on Shepard wherever they went. But this time Garrus thought it would be better to get Tali onto the Normandy as soon as possible. She'd need to process everything that happened, and she couldn't do that while still standing in the trial chamber.

After wandering the room, Garrus finally caught sight of Shepard. "Over there," he said. "Let's go."

They found her chatting animatedly with a male quarian in a suit with green trim. Her eyes lit up when she saw Garrus and Tali approaching.

"Hi guys," she said happily. "This is Bothan'Varn. He's a farmer on one of the liveships! He's been telling me all about how to cultivate dextro vegetables in an artificial environment. It's so fascinating!"

Garrus and Tali gave each other a look and Garrus stepped forward. "That's great, Shepard," he said, trying not to show how baffled he was by her enthusiasm. "But don't you think we need to be getting back to the Normandy?" He slid his eyes over to Tali for a moment, his mandibles flickering just once.

Shepard was intuitive enough to understand his meaning and nodded. "Of course, I just got a little sidetracked. Bothan, can I get your extranet address? I might have questions for you later."

"Of course, Commander," the man said kindly. "Please stay in touch. I have few friends who enjoy discussing crops and cultivation."

She grinned widely. "It would be my pleasure."

And finally, they returned to where the Normandy was docked. Tali slipped away as soon as the decontamination sequence finished, no doubt to be alone and consider all that had happened. Garrus lingered with Shepard, slowly heading towards the elevator.

When the elevator doors closed, Garrus turned to Shepard. "Why were you so interested in growing dextro vegetables, Shepard? Planning a little greenhouse on the ship?" he teased.

She smiled shyly at him, blushing a little. "Not at the moment," she said. "But you never know when I might need to know something like that. You know, for the future."

He stared at her, mandibles fluttering, as the elevator doors opened. Shepard tilted her head towards the open door, still smiling. "It's your stop, Garrus."

He stepped off, unable to think of a single thing to say.

By the time he reached the main battery, he'd put his thoughts back into some semblance of order. A warm feeling was growing in his chest.

_Well… not just blowing off steam after all._

…

…

"You alright, Commander?"

Shepard turned as she heard the voice of her assigned guard, James Vega. She'd been staring out the window longingly… again.

"I'm fine," she replied. "Just don't like being trapped indoors so long."

Vega raised a brow, leaning against the door frame. "Thought you'd be used to it, captaining a ship and all."

Shepard shrugged, lips curving into a small smile. "It's different on a ship. Much harder when I know the outdoors are right on the other side of this glass." She tapped on the window for emphasis. "All I want to do is run out there and dig my fingers into the dirt."

James laughed. "Damn, Shepard. Never took you for the dirty type," he said suggestively.

She rolled her eyes. "Don't get too excited, Lieutenant. Those pants won't hide it like your armor will." She lowered her eyes for a moment and smirked.

He lifted his hands defensively. "Alright, alright. No need to get nasty."

"Anyways," she said, "Did you need me for something?"

"Nah," he said. "Just dropping off your daily news datapad." He set the coveted item on her coffee table.

"Thanks," she said and turned back to the window. She'd get to it… after she stared longingly at the trees and grass a little while longer.

They couldn't hold her forever.

…

Group crew dinners were a little harder to come by during the reaper war than during the hunt for Saren, but they still did their best to get together as much as possible.

Some of the newer crewmen had recently learned about Shepard's upbringing and had questions, so dinner had become a favorite time to ask.

"So did you, like… make your own clothes?" Traynor asked.

Shepard shrugged. "Sometimes, but we didn't always bother wearing clothes on the commune, especially us kids."

There was a bit of nervous laughter, but most of the crew had stopped eating to stare at her in shock.

"What?" she said. "It's not that big of a deal. We've all had to use communal showers and stuff."

"Not the same, Shepard," Joker said, laughing harder than anyone. He was probably going to have stress fractures after this.

"It's not uncommon in my culture," Garrus spoke up to defend her. "Lots of turians don't wear anything within their own homes unless they're expecting company."

Tali added her two cents. "Quarian children don't wear clothing until adolescence, when they receive their first enviro-suit. Maybe humans are just prudes?"

"Hell yeah!" Shepard said, holding up hands to her two dextro teammates. "Up top!"

Garrus and Tali, bewildered, didn't move.

Belatedly, Garrus said, "Wait, Commander, is this that high-five thing I've seen humans do?" He raised his hand and slapped hers tentatively.

She shook her head and sighed, withdrawing her hands. "Too little too late, Garrus."

…

…

The former Commander Shepard knelt in the dirt, ignoring the stains on her jeans as she patted the soil down around her newly laid seeds. She looked up at the sight of a familiar figure at the back door.

"Dinner's ready," Garrus called.

She stood, brushed off her knees, and smiled.

…


	3. The One Where Shepard Was A Gang Mascot

Origins:

The One Where Shepard Was a Gang Mascot

…

Earthborn Shepard's gang found fame and fortune, and Shepard rode that wave as long as it lasted.

…

A/N: I took a lot of inspiration for this from the Saints Row series! If you've played it (especially Saints Row 3), you may recognize a few things.

…

"Hell yes!" Shepard pumped her fist as she caught sight of the mako in the cargo bay. She ran her fingers over it lovingly. "Goddamn, I can't wait to drive this baby."

Anderson cleared his throat and she snapped to attention.

"Sorry, sir. I'll be more professional once the crew arrives, I swear."

Anderson chose to ignore that statement. "You've driven a mako before?" he asked.

"No," she said with a shrug. "But I've driven a lot of ground vehicles. Motorcycles, sports cars, tanks…"

He blinked. "You drove a tank?"

She grinned. "Twenty-first century. Ran it on jet fuel."

He shook his head. "Some days I wonder how you ever ended up in the Alliance."

She grinned, undaunted. "I wonder that myself all the time."

…

…

As Shepard walked away from Finch, Tali spoke up. "You were in an anti-alien gang?" she asked, with just a trace of hurt in her voice.

"It wasn't," Shepard said, trying to hold in a wince at Tali's reaction. "Not when I was a part of it. We were about taking back our neighborhood. Living dangerously… Living rich." She wiggled her brows at the quarian, trying to improve the mood. "Finch's anti-alien bull never would have flown in the old days. But I guess all that was left when the gang fell apart was lowlifes like him. I wouldn't know. I was off-world by then."

Shepard felt a little morose, thinking of her Reds, her _family_, going so wrong.

Tali patted Shepard on the arm—when had this turned into Tali comforting her?—and made a little clicking sound in her throat. "I believe you, Shepard. I'm sorry they tried to take advantage of your kindness."

Shepard quirked a brow at that. She wasn't sure she _had_ kindness to take advantage of. But it was nice of Tali to think so.

…

…

"Damn, I'm starved," Shepard muttered as they clambered back into the mako to wait for a pick up.

Liara gave Shepard a shocked look. "How can you even think about eating after what we just saw in that base?" she demanded. "I'm not sure I'll ever eat again."

Garrus rolled his eyes behind her back at the asari's dramatics, but she did have a point. He was feeling a little nauseated himself. Between the thresher maw and thorian creeper stench, he was definitely going to have to shower before even thinking about a meal.

Shepard signaled the Normandy before answering. "I'm a bit of a freak of nature that way," she said, unconcerned. "That's why the Alliance loves me!" She grinned.

"The Alliance loves you because you can still get hungry after having zombies explode all over you?" Liara asked, incredulous.

Shepard snorted. "They love me because I bounce back easy from even the most disturbing missions. The psychologist after Torfan said something about me lacking a healthy baseline for normal human interactions…" She trailed off for a moment, then shook her head quickly. "I think maybe I'm just part krogan."

Garrus raised a browplate but wisely chose not to comment.

"Ooh!" Shepard said, hearing the Normandy arrive. "Here's our ride." And when they finally disembarked the mako, Shepard went straight for the mess.

…

…

Jacob crossed his arms, looking at Shepard leaning on the table across from him. She'd asked him what he wanted to know about her, in the interest of bonding her team. He wasn't sure about that, but… "I do have one question for you. A few rumors made their way around the base while you were under."

Shepard shrugged. "Hit me."

Jacob typed something on his omni-tool and pulled up an image. "What are you doing in this old energy drink ad? Since when did running in a gang involve modeling?"

Shepard laughed at the image of her teenage self leaning up against a giant soda can. "The Reds weren't like other gangs. At least not like any other gangs I know. It started out the same. Running drugs, a couple clubs." She shrugged. "But after we took down this oppressive rival gang, we got popular. And we turned that popularity into an empire."

Shepard smiled, her eyes gaining a faraway look. "We had it good for a while. Penthouses, parties. Got my bit of violence in. I was basically the mascot. You know, Reds… redhead." She motioned to her hair. "I got out when things got bad."

"Bad?" Jacob asked.

Shepard rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. "Well, most of the Reds' original leaders are in prison for tax fraud."

…

…

As they walked through Afterlife, Shepard kept yawning.

"Is something wrong, Shepard?" Miranda asked, looking concerned. "Have you not been sleeping?"

_Worried about your investment?_ Tali thought viciously, but kept her mouth shut. She was trying not to antagonize the Cerberus crew more than absolutely necessary.

"I'm fine," Shepard said, waving her off. "Clubs make me sleepy."

Miranda's eyes blinked rapidly. Tali tilted her head in confusion.

The music was pulsing so loud Tali could feel her suit vibrating. There were people dancing everywhere, laughing and talking, the smell of perfume and body odor seeping through her filters. How could anyone sleep in a place like this?

Shepard gave a careless little shrug. "I used to nap in clubs when I was a kid. Got bored when Jules took me along to do business."

Tali loved her friend, but, keelah, it was no wonder she was so strange. She'd had the oddest childhood!

…

…

Shepard picked up an old corded phone and pressed her hand to the bulletproof glass. "Hi Jules," she said.

The older man sitting across from her shook his head, his eyes looking suspiciously shiny. "God damn," he said. "They told me you were dead. I said no way. Not my Little Red."

"Got spaced," she said. "I was in a coma for a couple of years healing up. But that's not why I'm here."

"Lay it on me, girl," he said, like he used to for all her childhood worries. No one would have guessed that the notorious gang leader had such a soft side, but Shepard would never tell. It was for her alone. She didn't remember any other family than him.

"I'm doing something dangerous," she said bluntly. "Trying to save the colonies that have been disappearing. Gonna have to go through the Omega 4 relay." She sighed. "My crew started asking to take care of unfinished business. That sort of… brought things home."

Jules leaned forward, staring Shepard right in the eye. "You listen here, Little Red. So no one survived the other side? Well, you gonna be the first. You're not dyin' on me again, girl. Who's gonna come visit me if you do?"

She laughed, a couple tears spilling from her eyes. "Whatever you say, boss," she said, remembering all the times she'd sassed him as a teen with the same phrase.

"You live," he said with conviction. "And you come visit me after, okay? But for now we got five more minutes. Tell me what else you been up to. Got a boyfriend yet?"

She blushed.

…

…

Shepard was still in shock after Admiral Hackett left.

"Are you alright?" Doctor Chakwas asked, looking at Shepard in concern.

Shepard shrugged. "Crime was all I knew growing up, but I never saw the inside of a prison." She gave Chakwas a brief smile, then shook her head. "And now I'm going to be locked up for something an admiral asked me to do."

Chakwas nodded. "It's horse shit, Commander," she said mildly.

Shepard laughed. "You got that right, doc." She slid off the med bay cot and sighed. "Am I free to go? I've gotta talk to Joker about some stops we need to make before Vancouver."

"Go on," Chakwas said, nodding towards the door. "But Commander…"

Shepard paused, looking at her.

"Just know we're all behind you. No matter what happens."

She smiled her thanks and slipped out of the room.

…

…

Sometimes the travel times across the galaxy got boring, even with a war on, and that was when Shepard ended up at the bar in the observation lounge. More often than not she was joined by one or more of her crew when not on duty. It was a nice way to unwind and get to know her team.

"Stupidest thing you ever did," Vega prompted, a bottle of beer dangling from his fingers.

"Robbed a bank," she said instantly.

"Okay…" he said, thinking. "Craziest thing you ever did."

"Robbed a bank wearing a mask of my own face."

He snorted. "Favorite mission?"

"Skydiving into a penthouse pool."

Vega spluttered into his beer. "Damn, Lola! N7s get all the good missions!"

Shepard shook her head, smirking. "Nah, that was with the Reds."

He shook his head. "Dios, only you could make being in a gang sound fun."

…

…

Shepard spread her arms wide, spinning around in the open space of her new Silversun Strip apartment. "Isn't it kickass? It reminds me of the place I used to have back on Earth."

Jack shot her a look. "Shit, Shepard. I thought you grew up poor."

"I grew up in a _gang_," Shepard said. "There's a difference."

…

…

She argued and argued with the Alliance doctor. "I run faster than before," she claimed. But she couldn't quite argue away a medical discharge.

So she turned her attention to the council. Well, the Alliance may have discharged her, but the council wasn't in the business of giving up their agents, even ones with two prosthetic legs. She followed that up by demanding they allow her to induct her boyfriend into the spectres. As it turned out, they weren't in the business of denying spectre status to decorated war heroes either.

She leveraged her fame to get the Normandy back, hiring EDI and Joker immediately as crew. Others soon followed, those who didn't want to go back to the Alliance. She paid for it all by licensing out her name and image to anyone who would pay, and dragging Garrus right along with her. He'd been resistant at first, but when she said she was saving up for their honeymoon fund, well… he didn't resist long after that.

In fact, he'd immediately directed Joker to fly the Normandy to a place Shepard immediately nicknamed "Space Vegas" for a wedding. When Shepard saw that one of the officiant options was a Commander Shepard impersonator (hey, it's not like she could remember who she licensed out to), she was in heaven. Garrus, as a general rule, wasn't in the habit of turning down her requests.

Most of the Normandy crew would agree it was the tackiest wedding they'd ever attended, but Shepard and Garrus didn't care. They had fun, and in the end they were married with a minimum of fuss, which was all they really wanted.

But duty called, and they were sent on a mission to Earth before they could take the honeymoon Shepard had been saving for.

"You do some detective work, see what you can figure out about our mark," she said after they'd landed on Earth. "I'm going for supplies."

"Be careful," he called, tossing her a ration bar.

She winked. "I'm always careful."

A few hours later, she pinged his omni-tool, asking him to come outside. After heading down the loading ramp, he stopped in his tracks.

Shepard grinned from the driver's seat of a shiny red land vehicle. Warning bells were ringing in his head when he saw that it didn't even have a roof.

"Get in, Garrus!" she called, waving. "You're going to love this."

Years later, she still didn't believe him when said he hadn't enjoyed the mako rides. He didn't see much point in arguing now. But spirits! She'd always had a lead foot. He could only imagine how bad her driving was now that her foot was _actually_ made of metal.

He sighed, but was already moving towards the passenger's seat. "I hope you didn't spend our honeymoon fund on this thing."

"Baby, this 'thing' is a perfectly preserved twentieth century Mustang convertible. It deserves your respect!" She smirked. "And I only spent half the honeymoon fund on it, Garrus. You should stop worrying so much!"

With that, she pushed the pedal to the floor, shooting them off at a breakneck pace. The girly high pitched scream that anyone might have heard _definitely_ wasn't Garrus.

…

…


	4. The One Where Shep Was Raised Religious

Origins:

The One Where Shepard Was Raised Religious

…

Colonist Shepard's parents sought an insular community to practice their religion when they left Earth for a new life. That religion shaped every aspect of her upbringing.

…

"Is it a problem that I believe in God?" Ashley asked.

"Not at all, Chief," Shepard assured her. "I was raised religious myself."

"You were? Do you still…"

Shepard glanced away. "No. After what happened to my family, I found it hard to believe in a loving god." There was a long, awkward silence before Shepard looked up. "Not that I grudge you your belief. It's a very personal choice."

Mercifully, Ash nodded. "I understand, Commander."

…

…

Shepard's squad had managed to liberate the hostages, but the storm raging outside meant they were cut off from the Normandy. And there was one more complication.

"Shepard," Ashley said, uncharacteristic panic in her voice. "This woman is in labor!"

Shepard came quickly, Garrus on her heels despite having no clue how he could help.

"Don't worry," Shepard said to the frightened woman. "We're going to take care of you and your baby. Just try to stay calm."

Shepard turned to Garrus and Ashley, standing a little ways behind her. "Help me out of my armor," she said. "Quickly. And I need a packet of sterile wipes."

Ashley gave Shepard an odd look. "Uh, Skipper… did you forget that none of us know how to deliver babies? Unless Garrus is holding out on us."

The turian's mandibles fluttered as he helped Shepard remove her gauntlets. "No, Chief, I'm not secretly an expert on human birth," he said dryly.

"I know what I'm doing," Shepard said. "I've done this before." And she went to kneel by the laboring mother, now in just her undersuit.

For the next several hours, as the storm raged around them, Shepard calmly and carefully guided the mother through the birth, ordering help from Ashley and Garrus as needed. The woman cried tears of gratitude as her child was placed into her arms at the end of labor.

Not long after, the storm cleared and they were finally able to return to the Normandy. They clambered back out of the mako as the cargo bay door closed, and began depositing their weapons on the bench.

"Skipper, how did you know how to do all of that?" Ashley asked, amazed at the unusual skill set her commander possessed. "That's not exactly part of field medic training."

A look of discomfort crossed Shepard's face for just a moment before smoothing out. "My parents were part of an… unusual group of settlers. I helped in nearly a dozen home births back on Mindoir."

"Your people still give birth without medical intervention?" Garrus asked, curious. "Was that normal down there?" He seemed a little disturbed by what he'd seen.

"It's not common, but some people do choose to give birth on their own," Shepard answered, amused.

Garrus shook his head. "It seems dangerous. That's an awfully big baby to come out of such a small person."

Shepard snorted, her eyes sparkling with mirth. "Welcome to the miracle of human childbirth, Garrus."

…

…

The mako barreled towards a miniature mass relay, defended on either side by dozens of geth. Shepard felt iron bands of fear wrap around her heart as the mako vibrated, fighting against the tendrils of energy reaching out from the relay. For the first time in over a decade she found herself praying, reaching for a cross that no longer hung around her neck.

And then they were gone.

…

…

She'd been dead.

Heart stopped. Brain still. Body broken.

And she remembered nothing.

In childhood she'd sung hymns about heaven. Been told that family was waiting on the other side.

But what if there was no other side?

Shepard lay back on her bed, staring up through the skylight, remembering the feeling of air leaving her lungs.

And she wondered.

…

…

"Garrus? Are you busy?"

He shut down his console and turned around. Something in her voice made him pause. "Is something wrong?"

"No," she said. "Not really." But she was nervous. He could see her vitals spiking.

He motioned for her to come sit with him on the edge of his cot. "What is it, Esther?" he asked, still feeling a bit odd using her first name, as much as she seemed to like it.

"You remember when we agreed to, uh… 'blow off steam' together?"

His heart leapt into his throat. "You don't want to anymore?" He tried his hardest to keep his tone steady.

"No! That's not it at all," she assured him, covering his hand with hers, then snatching it back a moment later. "It's just…" She bit her lip. "I need to be honest here."

She stood up, pacing in front of him for a moment. "I was disingenuous when I asked you that. I don't want to just blow off steam. I wouldn't have asked if that was all I meant. I want more. I have feelings for you."

Garrus felt relief and happiness wash over him. "I have feelings for you too," he admitted. "I have for a long time."

Her anxious expression relaxed into a smile. "I have to tell you… I would never blow off steam with anyone I wasn't serious about. I know turians are casual about sex, but I was raised differently and I—"

Garrus grabbed her hand, cutting her off. "It's okay," he said. "I won't say that I've been serious about everyone I ever slept with. But I am serious about you."

She smiled at that for a moment. "But there's something else I'm trying to tell you," Shepard pushed on, looking nervous again. "I've never done this before. With anyone."

Garrus paused. "Not with another human? Not with anyone?"

She huffed, putting her hands on her hips. "That's what I said," she replied, with a sort of irritated anxiety meant to cover her fears.

Garrus may have been blindsided by the confession, but he wasn't blind to what this meant. "Esther… I'm honored that you would want to share this with me. But… maybe I better do some extra research first."

She smiled, looking like she was trying to hold in a laugh. "More? Weren't you doing enough?"

His mandibles fluttered a little. "Well if this is your first time, I want to make sure it's really good for you. I want it to be special."

Her smile softened. "It will be special," she said simply. "It's with you."

…

…

When Shepard entered the cargo bay on her usual rounds, Steve Cortez immediately waved her over. "Is there something wrong?" she asked.

He shook his head. "No ma'am, but I wanted to go over this requisition with you. Two hundred electric tea candles?"

Shepard blushed. "For All Saints' Day," she said. "I was hoping to invite the crew to observe it with me. I light candles for my family every year. Is it a stupid idea?"

"No," Steve said, swallowing the lump in his throat. "It's not. I think we could use it at a time like this."

Two weeks later found a number of crew members silently taking candles from the box at the door of the observation lounge. Shepard sat closest to the window with her ten candles, thinking about each member of her family as she lit the candles in turn.

Her father, Daniel Shepard, the quiet, earnest farmer. Her mother, Hannah, the heart and guide of the household. Big brother Levi who was kind and serious. The twins, Samuel and Jeremiah who always did their best to drive her crazy. Rebecca and Leah, giggly and inseparable despite their two year age difference. Isaac, wild and energetic, Malachi always trailing after him. Shiloh, whose baby cheeks she always kissed. There were times she had wished them away. Now she wished them back.

She didn't pray over the candles like some would. She hadn't truly believed in a loving god for years. But she thought of them, hoping that wherever they were, they had found peace.

She looked to either side of herself, to Tali, lighting two candles and Garrus lighting one. At a small sniffle from Tali's helmet, she moved over, wrapping an arm around her friend. The loss of her father was still fresh. Before long, Garrus had joined them, and the three of them sat together, staring out at the universe in candlelight, taking comfort in one another.

…

…

"Never have I ever… been engaged," Liara said with a mischievous glint in her eye.

Shepard and Jacob took sips of their drinks. A dozen surprises gazes turned to Shepard.

She rolled her eyes. "Back on Mindoir, my parents betrothed me to this guy. He was young, another farmer in the community. He'd just bought his own prefab. It was shortly before the slavers hit, so you can guess how that ended."

"Wait… your _parents_ betrothed you? It was going to be an arranged marriage?" Traynor asked in shock.

"Weren't you only sixteen?" Kaidan jumped in.

Shepard shrugged. "I didn't know any different at the time. Our community was… conservative."

Joker snorted. "I'll say."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Never have _I_ ever broken a bone."

He shook his head as he lifted his beer to drink. "Low blow, Commander."

…

…

"Esther, your boyfriend has an order for you—come back alive. It will be an awfully empty galaxy without you."

"I will if you promise me the same. Any more rockets come your way, you'd better duck."

Garrus's mandibles flared into a small smile. "Turians don't know how, but I'm sure I can improvise."

Her fingers trailed over the scarred side of his face. "When this is over, what do you want to do?"

"First?" Garrus said, "Get a drink. Second, I want to get married. Then we can retire somewhere warm and tropical and live off the royalties from the vids. Maybe see what a human-turian baby looks like?"

Shepard laughed through her tears. "I don't know if biology will cooperate. But we're going to adopt _so _many babies Garrus. I promise you."

"Well, there are going to be a lot of kids that need homes after this. And a lot of little krogan running around."

She sniffed, wiping at her eyes. "It'll be a piece of cake. Remember, I raised seven siblings."

Garrus pulled her in to his chest. "Just promise me we'll make it there. I'll give you all the babies you want, Esther, but you have to survive this first."

She nodded against his cowl. "We will, Garrus. I'm sure of it."

…

…

Shepard's pregnant belly preceded her as she waddled out to where Garrus lay on their private beach. She grunted in irritation as she dropped down into the lounge chair beside her husband's.

He grinned at her in amusement, and she rolled her eyes.

"Next project," she said. "You build me a bathroom closer to the beach. I'm not doing this next time."

"Next time?" he asked with a raised browplate.

She smiled. "You promised me as many babies as I wanted, Garrus."

He smiled back, leaning over to press his forehead to hers. "That I did, Esther. That I did."

…


	5. The One Where Shepard Was In The Mafia

Origins:

The One Where Shepard Was In The Mafia

…

Earthborn Shepard was never in the Tenth Street Reds—the story was a cover. She was a member of the mafia, who'd since gone into the witness protection program.

…

Commander Shepard was a famous name, but no one seemed to know what she looked like. Kaidan couldn't even pull up a picture of her in the Alliance database. He was able to pull them for every other member of the crew. He'd have his own photo removed if he could—he hated that picture of himself with his hair looking all goofy—but he hadn't understood that to be an option. Maybe things were different if you were the famed survivor of Akuze.

When he first boarded the Normandy, he was woefully unprepared to meet her.

He knew who she was immediately, of course. He'd memorized every other face and name on the roster. There was only one person left.

She was tall, as tall as he was. Built strong. Scarred. But the scars only seemed to emphasize the handsomeness of her features. Beautiful seemed almost too soft a word for this warrior. But his mind went there anyway. She _was_ beautiful.

He might have stumbled a bit over his introduction.

_Stupid._

If only he'd seen her picture. Then he might have been prepared.

…

…

They were walking through the Citadel when Shepard froze. She stopped, turned, and stared at a vid-screen. The news vids were showing footage from her induction into the spectres. She stood completely still, watching the whole thing. When they cut to a clear shot of her face, she swore.

Garrus caught sight of her expression as she turned away, marching towards the embassies. Her face was stern, but her eyes… they were panicked.

She left her team outside the door as she went inside. Garrus and Tali eyed each other before Tali pulled out a little piece of tech and stuck it to the door. With a few waves of her omni-tool, she and Garrus heard the conversation inside clearly through their in-ear comms.

"—hell happened, Anderson?" Shepard demanded. "I just saw my face on the vids!"

"What are you talking about, Shepard?" came the captain's voice.

"My spectre ceremony is on the news. Someone got a clear shot of my face and is blasting it on every news network! The Alliance is supposed to have this locked down!"

Tali and Garrus looked at each other. Even through the helmet, Tali radiated confusion. Neither of them had heard her sound so… _hysterical_ before.

"There's literally an office whose job is to keep me out of the press! You must have noticed that in my file! I got through a decade in the military, including Akuze, without compromising my identity. You have no idea what's been unleashed," she ranted.

"Shepard," Anderson interrupted. "I've just sent a message to HQ. It will be taken care of."

"It's too late already," she said darkly. "The vid's out there. They'll find me."

"Are you sure it will matter?" Anderson asked. "It's been over a decade. They're an Earth-based organization—"

"The family doesn't forget," she said flatly. "Or forgive." They heard her release a long, deep sigh. "Just promise me not to investigate too closely if I die mysteriously. It won't go well."

"Shepard—"

"Don't," she cut him off. "Just don't."

At the sound of footsteps moving, Tali quickly took her gadget off the door and slipped it into a pocket in her suit. The door opened a moment later, revealing a tired-looking Shepard.

She led them straight back to the docking bay, eyes darting around all the while. Her fingers strayed towards the pistol on her hip more than once. Garrus followed suit, carefully watching for threats. He'd gotten to know Shepard a little, and anything that scared her definitely scared him.

It was silent as they waited in the decontamination chamber, and after boarding Shepard went directly to Pressly and started talking about increasing the Normandy's security. Tali and Garrus took the opportunity to escape back down to the lower level.

"What do you think that was about?" Tali asked when they were in the elevator.

"I don't know," Garrus said. "But I've never seen her that worried before."

"She said something about family," Tali said. "But I thought Shepard grew up without any family."

"_The_ family," Garrus corrected her. "She said _the_ family. Not _her_ family."

They fell into silence, both considering and wondering what they'd heard. Garrus's work on the mako suffered for days in his distraction.

…

…

"What's got Shepard all worked up?" Joker asked. "She's been weird since we left the Citadel."

"She said something about the family being after her," Tali said quietly. "She's having all the security upgraded."

Joker gave her an odd look. "The family?" he repeated. "Like the _mafia_?"

"I don't know what that is," Tali said uncertainly.

But that was enough. The gossip spread through the ship like a virus, and within days everyone was whispering that Shepard had somehow pissed off the mafia.

None of them quite reached the truth that she'd been a part of it, once.

…

…

Shepard walked away, trying to control the trembling that had overtaken her body. The way Finch had said her name. The way he'd said _"Tenth Street Reds"_. As if any of this was real. It told her all she needed to know.

The family knew everything. She wasn't hidden anymore. And they'd decided she was more useful to them alive… for now.

She didn't know if that was better or worse than them trying to kill her.

…

…

Shepard looked down at Khalisah Al-Jilani, who was crumbled on the floor from her punch.

"I don't do interviews," she said and pressed a key on her omni-tool.

The camera began sparking as she walked away.

…

…

"Tell me about this 'Cerberus' organization," Shepard said, her knee on a scientist's back. The scientist's face was pressed into the cold metal floor of the prefab, staring at the bodies of his coworkers.

Wrex stood by, looking unconcerned. Garrus watched with interest.

"I'll never tell," the man said, trembling. "I won't betray Cerberus!"

Shepard sighed, rolling her eyes. "That's what they all say. But I have ways of making you talk. Do you know what it feels like to have your fingernails peeled back one by one? That's the first step. Then we can move on to removing your teeth. Then toes, then fingers as I slowly let you bleed out…"

"I don't know anything!" the man broke in, panicking. "I swear! I only know about this project. They offered funding for research that no one else would touch!"

"For good reason," Shepard said sharply. She wrenched his arms further behind his back. "You know that if you lie to me, your next of kin won't be able to identify what's left."

The scientist nodded against the floor, sobbing now. "I'll tell you everything I know. I swear."

"Good boy."

Later, when she'd finished interrogating him—and ended it with a bullet instead of one of her more creative methods—Wrex finally showed interest in what she'd done.

"Didn't learn that in the Alliance," he said with a grunt.

"No," she said, sliding a sideways look his direction. "I didn't."

When Garrus was on Omega, overdosing a red sand trafficker on his own product, this memory came back with clarity. He knew Shepard would understand.

…

…

"So everyone thinks I'm dead?" Shepard asked, staring at Miranda.

"You _were_ dead, Shepard," Miranda said in exasperation. "So yes, everyone still believes that to be true."

Shepard nodded slowly. "So… can we keep it that way?"

…

…

"Commander Shepard?" Thane Krios said, looking curiously at her over the still-bleeding body of Nassana Dantius. "I was offered a contract with your name on it. I did not accept… but someone did."

Shepard crossed her arms. "I'd like to offer you a job, Mr. Krios. Interested in foiling an assassination attempt?" she asked.

Weeks later, just as she'd stepped aside to give Garrus his shot, another crack rang out. Pain bloomed from her arm, but she felt only relief. If she hadn't moved aside in that moment, it might have struck her heart.

Garrus and Thane were both on her comm talking over one another. She heard none of it, her head whipping around to search for where the shot had come from. Garrus was beside her in moments, calling for C-Sec, applying medi-gel, and using his large, armored body to shield her from view.

Thane's voice came back on the comm a few short minutes later, telling her the assassin would not trouble her again.

"I doubted you, at first," Garrus said. "When you recruited an assassin. Can't say I'm not grateful now."

"So am I," Shepard agreed. "But a public failure? This attempt won't be the last," she said darkly.

They waited together for C-Sec to arrive. It was easy enough to blame Sidonis's death on the assassin as well. Shepard didn't bother to ask Thane how he'd disposed of the body. He could have his secrets as long as he protected hers.

…

…

"Don't try to contact me while I'm on Earth," she said, an order even though they were naked in bed.

"What?" Garrus asked, nerves starting to creep up on him. "Why?"

"The people after me," she said, and took a deep breath. "I'll be in Alliance custody. Probably safe. But if they find out I—" _love _"—care for someone, they might try to hurt you."

"Shepard, I was Archangel. I can take care of myself," he said stubbornly.

"Please do it for my peace of mind," she said, eyes pleading. "I probably won't be allowed any outside contact anyhow."

"Just promise me one thing, then," he said. "That if you _are_ allowed any outside contact, you'll let me know if you're okay."

"I can do that," she said with a nod.

He gave her a sideways look. "So, uh… you care about me, huh?"

"Of course I do," she said in exasperation. "Just… don't forget me while I'm away." She wouldn't ask for more, not now, when the future was so uncertain.

"I never could," he said warmly, and pressed his forehead to hers. "But if they hold you down there too long, don't be surprised to find I've gathered the old crowd to break you out."

She laughed. "Give them six months to a year, at least. Bureaucracy moves _slow._"

"I'll try," he said. "But I never was patient."

…

…

"You're my security, huh?" she asked, eyeing James Vega up and down. "Are you sure you're up to it?" He was obviously strong. But did he have a brain under all that brawn?

"_Head_ of your security, actually," he said, crossing his arms. "I hope you're not planning on breaking out, Commander." His voice had taken on a slightly teasing tone.

She didn't take the bait. "I'd be more concerned about those planning to break in if I were you. Make sure you do a thorough read of my file. Wouldn't want you to miss anything important."

She felt his eyes on her as she turned away and hoped to hell that he'd take her seriously. Her life wasn't the only one in danger if he didn't.

…

…

"I fear I won't be protecting you anymore," Thane said, staring out the hospital window.

"You've done more than enough," she said, grateful for his steadfast aid—and friendship—all this time. "The reapers are a threat to them too. Maybe they'll let up for a while."

Thane's lips curled into a small smile. "Or maybe they'll save their money and hope for the reapers to do the dirty work."

Shepard brightened. "There's an idea! Do you think they'll believe it if I die again?"

Thane shook his head and let out a small laugh. "You are one of a kind, Siha."

…

…

Shepard dropped into EDI's empty copilot seat. "Are you glad to be heading back to Earth?" she asked Joker.

The pilot gave a small shrug. "Not like it was my home or anything. I'm glad this will be over soon, though. You?"

"Can't say Earth was good to me," she admitted. "But yeah, I'm ready to end it."

"So…" Joker tugged his cap, not quite looking at Shepard. "Since this might be our last night alive, will you answer a question?"

"Depends on the question," Shepard said with amusement. "Try me."

He glanced at Shepard. "Are you really on the run from the mafia?"

She laughed. "That old rumor from the SR1? Really?"

"Come on, Commander," Joker said, emboldened by her laughter. "It makes sense!"

She gave a considering nod. "It does," she said. "Because it's true."

"Seriously?!" Joker said, excited now. "No way! How the hell did you get mixed up in that?"

"I was a member of the mafia back on Earth," she confessed. "I ran away from a foster home when I was a kid, ended up with the family. I was useful, good at break ins. They made me good at killing."

"Was it a rival family after you?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No. I found something out I wasn't supposed to." Her hands gripped the armrests tightly. "They were trafficking _kids_, Jeff. I couldn't stand by and be a part of that. So I bided my time, gathered my evidence, and went to the police."

"Holy shit."

"They wanted revenge for what I'd done, so I was put into witness protection. The Alliance was willing to take me despite that. I had a skill set they needed." She shrugged. "And here we are."

"Yeah," Joker said breathlessly, looking at her as she casually lounged in his copilot's seat. "Here we are."

Was it possible he'd actually _underestimated_ Shepard? Joker wasn't sure. But he'd definitely never do it again.

…

…

The galaxy mourned Commander Shepard.

She'd given her life in the line of duty, they said. Given _everything_ to save the galaxy.

There was a Jane Doe in a London field hospital who would never tell them otherwise. Some disfiguring scars and poor reconstructive surgery helped maintain the lie.

She hacked into the hospital's communication system to send just one message. A turian in blue armor arrived that very night and didn't leave until she did.

Jane Doe became Jane Vakarian, and the two disappeared to Palaven without a word to anyone. They couldn't keep their friends from eventually finding them, but they could still hide from the public. Jane's paranoia had paid off—no one outside the Normandy had known of their relationship. They intended a life of peace and obscurity, and had powerful friends to help keep it that way.

When Jane was young, back on Earth, the mafia had called itself her home. Had called itself a family. But now she knew better. She had a _real_ family now, with her turian husband and brothers and sisters of all races scattered across the galaxy.

It was good to be home.

…


	6. The One Where Shep Didn't Want To Be

Origins:

The One Where Shepard Didn't Want To Be A Soldier

…

Spacer Shepard had no intention of going into the family business. Her dreams tended in another direction.

…

When Shepard started the mako's engines, Garrus and Wrex heard a strange, fluid music coming through the speakers.

"What is this crap?" Wrex asked.

Shepard rolled her eyes, but a smile threatened at the corner of her mouth. "This is classical music, Wrex. From Earth."

"Not much of a beat to it," Garrus said. It was nothing like the club music he heard everywhere on the Citadel, nor like the marching anthems that turian music was known for.

"It has rhythm," she said, holding the boost to slow the mako's descent. "It's just more subtle."

Garrus listened for a bit and supposed she was right. It was different, but not in a bad way.

"I don't like it," Wrex grumbled after they'd landed. "Not enough punch."

Shepard's little smile turned into a full-blown grin. "Remind me to introduce you to the 1812 Overture sometime. It includes cannons."

"Cannons?" Wrex repeated, then laughed. "I like you humans more and more all the time."

…

…

"Commander?" Tali asked, staring into the captain's quarters in puzzlement. Shepard was—dancing?—to some instrumental music playing over the speakers. Her arms swept over her head in a flowing arc, a foot pointed out behind her.

Shepard stopped her movements, looking over at Tali in the doorway. "Come in," she said, pausing the music with her omni-tool. "Did you need something?"

"What were you just doing?" the quarian asked curiously. "I've never seen anything like it before."

Shepard motioned Tali towards a chair. "It's a style of Earth dance called ballet. I like to incorporate some basic steps into my morning workout. But I'm sure my workout habits aren't why you're here. What can I do for you, Tali?"

"Oh," Tali said, feeling flustered. She'd been so distracted she almost forgot her purpose. "I wanted to talk to you about that geth data. Can I take a copy of it home with me? For my pilgrimage?" she asked. Anxiety thrummed in her chest until Shepard smiled.

"Of course you can," Shepard assured her. "But will you stay until the end of the mission at least?"

"Of course!" Tali said quickly. "I want to see this through. I think that's what the pilgrimage is about. Seeing that we're part of a larger universe. If I go back before I finish this with you, it's like I didn't learn anything at all."

Shepard's smile warmed. "I'm going to miss you when you go back to your people, Tali."

"We'll keep in touch," Tali said firmly. "That's what the extranet is for! Speaking of the extranet, do you think you could find me a vid of that dance you were doing earlier?"

Shepard laughed. "Yeah, Tali. I can do that."

…

…

"Maybe take her out dancing or something," Tali said with a shrug. "She likes to dance."

"Are you sure about that?" Kaidan asked, looking warily down at the dance floor where Shepard did an odd little side-step motion.

Tali followed his gaze. "It didn't look like that when she was dancing before," she said, uncertainty in her voice.

Shepard grinned, waving up at them. "Come dance," she called.

Kaidan shrugged his shoulders and smiled.

…

…

She'd always felt that fighting was a bit like ballet. Perhaps that's why she'd taken to it so easily when her original plans had fallen through. It was about knowing the right moves. Anticipating your partner.

She ducked smoothly under the krogan's arm before pirouetting to shoot him in the back.

She took a few long, leaping steps (_like a jeté_, her mind supplied) to reach the environmental control systems. She flipped the switch, but had no time to enjoy her work. Two more vorcha were coming down upon her as she stood.

_A pas de trois,_ she thought with humor, but shook it off.

Omega was no place for dancing.

…

…

Shepard smiled over her beer at the turian sitting across from her. She was glad she'd been able to pull him away from his calibrations long enough for him to come for a chat.

"I'm really glad you're here, Garrus," she confessed.

He looked like he belonged in her quarters, lounged back in the chair with a bottle of beer dangling from his fingers. She suppressed the thought that she'd like to keep him there.

"You know me," he said casually. "I couldn't let you get all the glory of saving the galaxy again."

"Seriously," she said. "I couldn't do this without you. It was hard enough when I was in the Alliance, and now without them to turn to…" She sighed. "You know, I never wanted to be a soldier."

His sharp blue eyes snapped to her. "That's surprising, considering how good you are at it." He took a sip of his beer. "What did you want to be?"

"A dancer," she confessed, and he chuckled. "Don't laugh, I'm serious!" she said.

"Shepard, I've seen you dance," he said. "I think you made the right choice."

She rolled her eyes. "You've only seen me dance in a club. Club dancing is about as far as you can get from what I was trained for."

"And what's that?" he asked curiously.

"Ballet. It's an old, classical style of dancing. I studied at a renowned ballet academy when I was young. I begged and begged my mom to let me go. But then I had a toe injury that didn't heal correctly. It was the end of my ballet career. Mom basically strong-armed me into the Alliance after that."

His mandibles fluttered. "A toe injury?" It was obvious he couldn't understand how that would have an effect.

"Professional ballet involves dancing on the very tip of your toes," she said, roughly demonstrating with her own toes against the floor. Garrus stared at her bare feet. "After my injury I couldn't put my weight on my right toe."

Shepard flexed her foot and Garrus turned his attention back to her face. He let out a hum. "Have you tried since Cerberus brought you back?" he asked.

Shepard stared at him. "I don't—"

"Cerberus repaired your body," he interrupted. "Maybe that's fixed too."

Shepard blinked, her heart beginning to race. "I… never considered that."

"No time like the present," he said, looking rather satisfied with himself.

"I don't have proper toe shoes," she said, hesitating.

"Do you need them? Just to try it out?"

"Well, no… but I'll need something to lean on and balance against." She glanced around the room as she got up from the couch. Maybe the railing on the stairs could work as a barre?

"I volunteer," Garrus said, standing.

Shepard laughed. "Are you sure you're steady enough?" she teased. "You've been drinking."

"I'm no lightweight, Commander," he said and held out his hands.

He held his hands steady as she pressed down on them, testing him out. She placed her hands firmly in his. With a deep breath, she went up on pointe and looked up into his face.

"You're doing it," he said softly, his mandibles flaring a little. "How does it feel?"

"Good," she said breathlessly, staring up into his blue eyes. "Perfect."

Shepard blinked, suddenly realizing how close they were standing. She dropped back onto her feet, letting go of his hands.

"Thank you, Garrus," she said, backing away to her seat and picking up her beer. She took a sip, trying to hide the way her heart was racing. "I don't think I'll be leaving to join a ballet company anytime soon, but…" She smiled. "It feels good to know I can dance again."

Garrus dropped back into his chair, lounging casually as if nothing had happened at all. Only the intensity in his gaze belied him. "Anything for you, Commander."

Shepard smiled at Garrus, a warm feeling in her chest. Something had changed, something that had nothing to do with dancing.

…

…

Shepard stepped into her quarters and frowned. There was a box on her bed that she hadn't left there.

She walked over to the bed and picked up a scrap of paper sitting on top.

_I came across these and thought you might like them. – Kasumi_

Shepard set the paper aside and curiously opened the box. A gasp ripped the air from her throat as she beheld a brand new pair of toe shoes.

…

…

Shepard frowned at her closet. She didn't think that black leather dress was going to cut it for Garrus's surprise date tonight. He said to wear something nice. Did she have time for shopping? Did she even _want_ to go shopping? Her frown deepened.

The chime for her door rang. "Come in," she said, welcoming a distraction though it was unlikely to help with her predicament. The door opened to show Liara carrying a garment bag and Traynor holding a small plastic case.

Shepard looked from one to the other in confusion. "What's going on?"

Traynor smiled brightly at her. "Garrus said he had a special date planned for you tonight and we thought we'd help you get ready!"

She stared at them in bafflement. "Well, that's nice but I don't even know what he has planned…"

"But we do," Liara said, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "And we've brought everything you need."

She was ushered back into her room by her friends and wondered just what Garrus had gotten her into.

Two hours later, Shepard was standing at the airlock in a cocktail gown of navy blue, with sparkling flats on her feet and a delicate beaded purse in her hand. Her carefully made-up face was frowning, as she hadn't much appreciated the stares of her crew as she walked through the CIC. Where the hell was Garrus? And what was all this for, anyways?

Her frown disappeared when she saw him, dressed in a dashing suit of blue and black.

"Wow," he said, mandibles fluttering at the sight of her. "You look beautiful."

She smiled. "You look very handsome too. Now will you tell me where we're going?" she asked impatiently.

Garrus chuckled. "You'll see soon."

They took a skycar to a part of the Citadel she'd never seen before. When they got out, they were surrounded by people of all races in fine cocktail attire. "What is this?" Shepard asked.

Garrus, smiling, pointed at an advertisement across the way.

_Bolshoi Ballet, _it read. _One-night charity performance in support of the war effort._

She clutched at Garrus's arm. "Really?" She couldn't stop the smile growing on her face.

He nodded, smiling back. "Really. Hard to get tickets at the last minute, but dropping your name does wonders."

They couldn't avoid talking to a few acquaintances as they went inside—much of the upper echelon of the Citadel population was present—but Shepard barely minded. She was too excited. Her heart was racing as the curtain rose. She hadn't seen a live performance in so long.

Throughout the performance, she was gratified to see Garrus beside her, as mesmerized as she. He seemed engaged in the story as they performed the classic Sleeping Beauty.

"What did you think?" she asked him on the skycar ride back to the Normandy.

"It was impressive how high they jumped without any biotic assistance. And all that spinning on their toes! This is what you used to do?" He looked at her with admiration, enough to make her blush.

"You just watched some of the most talented dancers in the galaxy," she reminded him. "I'm not quite up to their caliber."

"You were planning to make a career of it, weren't you?" he asked pointedly.

Shepard shrugged—he had caught her out. But it had been fifteen years since she'd danced. She wasn't at that level anymore. Still, she let him give her that smug, satisfied grin, and settled her head against his shoulder.

"Garrus?" she said, after they'd been quiet a few moments. "Thank you."

…

…

"I don't have the resources of Cerberus," Miranda warned.

"Then it's a good thing you don't have to bring me back from the dead this time," Shepard countered, raising her brows at her old friend through the comm connection. "Fixing my legs should be a piece of cake."

Miranda sighed and shook her head. "Send me your medical reports," she said, giving in. "I'll give you a list of the equipment I need. Once you get your hands on it, we'll talk."

Shepard smiled. "Miranda, my best friend is the Shadow Broker. You may as well book your flight already."

…

…

"I thought," Hannah Shepard said, her voice staticky through the audio connection, "That when you went to the trouble of having your legs repaired, your intention was to continue your career in the Alliance."

"You never asked," Shepard replied, frowning at the comm though her mother couldn't see it. "This is what I always wanted."

Hannah's huff of breath was loud and heavy. "I suppose I always knew that. Let me know when it's up and running and I'll come visit when I have leave."

"Thanks, Mom," Shepard said, grateful for some small concession. "We'll talk soon."

"Bye, sweetie."

Shepard felt two strong arms wrap around her from behind as the call ended, and a smile spread her lips.

"How bad?" he asked.

Shepard turned in his arms, wrapping hers around his neck. "Not quite as bad as the 'turian son in law' conversation," she said with a shrug. Her smile faltered a bit. "You don't think I'm crazy, do you? Opening a dance studio after all this?"

Garrus nuzzled her neck. "No," he said firmly. "Everyone has to have dreams. And besides, since I started my art classes, I've been looking forward to painting ballerinas like that one Earth artist you showed me…"

"Degas?" she asked with a laugh. Only Garrus would aspire to one of the most famed artists of all time after a few weeks of painting lessons.

"That's the one," he replied. "I'm going to need a muse." He nuzzled her neck again, nipping gently at the soft skin there.

"Mmm," she said. "Well, I'm starting to feel inspired."

"For something other than art, I think," Garrus replied, and swept her into his arms.

…

A/N: If I made any mistakes regarding ballet terms, I apologize. I took ballet as a child, but I am by no means an expert!

The Bolshoi Ballet is a Russian ballet company considered one of the best in the world. Edgar Degas is a French impressionist artist who is famous for his paintings of ballerinas.


End file.
